Tuesday, 27 November 2018

Beware The Wolf In Sheep's Clothing, Joy Kuo / Awakening With Joy

During the initial year of knowing Joy Kuo, she came off as a sweet and caring person as she would often initiate chats via Whatsapp to ask how I am doing, pretending to be my friend. But in hindsight, she was just trying to get to know more about me and getting information as she would also ask me for ideas for her businesses. Also, she was contacting me a lot more when she was trying to recruit me and other volunteers into her World Ventures Multilevel Marketing business. She got so greedy that she also tried recruiting us into a second Multilevel Marketing business named Jeunesse.

When she was unsuccessful with the Multilevel Marketing businesses, there was suddenly little to no contact from her. Unless, there is something she needs from me, of course, such as asking me to buy her personal items or to rant about a fellow volunteer who doesn’t see eye to eye with her. Since she works closely with Hanuman, he is the person she would often complain about to me.

Joy not only used and abused Hanuman and recruited him as her flying monkey during the FIT programme. She also has an unhealthy obsession with Hanuman and had been very possessive of him to the point that she would not let anyone near him. Joy knew that I was recently divorced at that time and recovering from a narcissistic abusive marriage and she made use of my vulnerability so that I would be scared of Hanuman to keep me from getting close to him. She would often provoke Hanuman and get into heated arguments with him and then come up to me immediately to slander Hanuman, saying that he has such an ill temper so that I would be afraid of him. As a result, I would often feel very stressed instead of having the space and time for healing and respite during Retreats as they will always get into some argument and Joy would always try to brainwash me to take her side.

In 2017, she was very keen to stop over in Malaysia on the way to our India pilgrimage trip as I didn't want to go to India alone. We both understood that it was a short holiday for her and she looked forward the most to try Malaysian food and even asked me to look for durians for her. But I later found out from Jeeya that Joy told her that she was coming to Malaysia to help me with starting Kosmic Fusion in Malaysia! She has never once offered me help or advice in anyway regarding the Cosmic Meetups and 5D++ Awakenin Transformation workshops that I have had the blessed opportunity to host during all the years that I knew her and I was shocked to hear how Joy can just blatantly lie to Jeeya and misled her into thinking that her objective to visit Malaysia was to help me.

Keeping her fake facade and image to others is very important to Joy. Therefore, Joy would always protect her face to appear good and would often shift blame onto others without batting an eyelash. For instance, there was a time during the India Pilgrimage where we had used the wash room. I went in first and then Joy took her turn to use it. After Joy, Sree Maa also used the wash room but came out a moment later saying that the toilet was clogged with toilet paper. And I was quite shocked at what Joy did next. Joy immediately turned to me and said “Oh, it was you who went earlier” to try to shift the blame and put the guilt on me but I knew very well it wasn't me because I had thrown the toilet paper I used into a big rubbish bin in the wash room and not into the toilet bowl. So, it was definitely her who had clogged the toilet bowl as she went to use the washroom after me AND before Sree Maa. But that’s just how a typical narcissist is as she can never own up, takes any responsibility and admit her faults. As her grandiose sense of self-importance in her head, she is Miss Perfect and must look good in front of Sree Maa.

Furthermore, it was during this India Pilgrimage that I got to see Joy's true face as she started to physically bully me. When she hurried me to the front of the group to do voice recording of Sree Maa, she gave me a big shove that I almost fell sideways but gaslighted me that it was not a push. In a second incident, she suddenly and unexpectedly grabbed my hand holding the voice recorder, roughly handled me while bossing me to “Do it properly!” that I got very intimidated by her at that time because she always portrayed to be soft and gentle to others, but with me, she was suddenly showing her true colours and behaving physically aggressive with me.

Dear readers, I hope this gives an insight as to why she is shifting blame onto Sree Maa, Shri Ji and painting Kosmic Fusion as a cult and and portraying herself as the victim to suck in innocent people as her new narcissistic supply with her sob stories now that she was lovingly asked to leave when we found out about all the things she had been doing, such as bullying and abusing other volunteers, stealing Intellectual Property and siphoning data from Kosmic Fusion, under the banner of volunteering and serving the mission of Kosmic Fusion. She was just serving no one but herself.

Please be warned before you add her as a friend or join her FB group.

Joy Kuo's facebook profiles:

Joy's Facebook group:

Monday, 22 October 2018

How Narcissists Run in Packs - Part 1

Written together with my Kalyan Mitras Simran, Jeeya and Ekta

During the FiT program we discovered that several narcissists were running wild, causing mass destruction wherever they went. As we have worked more deeply in hindsight reflecting on the various games that were played in the FiT program, we identified that there were several patterns that reoccurred time and time again, because we were wearing our blinkers we were unable to spot the cunning games that were being played at the expense of Sree Maa and Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion.

When we reflect back the signs and red flags were there, we were given a blank canvas to paint a vivid picture of unity, trust and respect. At the beginning there were a few of us who approached Sree Maa to volunteer for Kosmic Fusion. Initially Sree Maa and Shri Ji were funding the exhibition stands around Australia and New Zealand and things were beginning to unfold very quickly. There was a lot of interest in the amazing Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse (QVSWPP) and curiosity was building. There was a very positive response from people when they were touched by the Grace of Sree Maa and Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse.

In 2012 and 2013 a small group of volunteers formed (including Nat, Nathan, Nick, Sheree Ekta and Simran) and were given a platform by Sree Maa. In Feb 2013 Joy Kuo (as she calls herself now) and Clarito also started to be involved and from this point we branched out into supporting Sree Maa to introduce the QVSWPP to other states.

At this time Nat, Ekta and Simran were helping to organise a festival in the Gold Coast in early 2013.  This is where Iphigenie and Joy first met. Enter Narcissist no 2. Iphigenie wanted to know who was volunteering in Australia and wanted to suss things out. She befriended Joy to obtain inside information of how to get a big group of people in New Zealand.

During the Melbourne MBS festival that same year both Nat and Joy were attending and during the trip Nat and Joy had some conflict. One key point to note is that conflict did not arise until Joy appeared on the scene. On return from the Festival both Joy and Nat were not on speaking terms and Joy then told Jeeya that she was being bullied by Nat. Joy then played the victim to Jeeya and recruited Jeeya as a flying monkey. Joy was the one having problems with everyone but was always blaming the other party. Could it be possible that the one person who had problems with everyone, had nothing to look at within herself??

19/09/14, 20:03 - Meera: How are you feeling after last night's call? 💖💖💖
19/09/14, 20:16 - Komal Irene Kuo: Most of the time people have issues with me 😅 Maa said it's competition... had some issues with Elliaa, Siann (even this year mbs Sydney the seminar meditation)  Sheree ...Nat used to have bad attitudes to me... they're okay now. .. but now a little bit with Jabeen. ... 😅 sounds like my problem but not really. ..... maybe they feel I'm threatening to them and react. ...and that affects me. .. but now they know where I'm coming from and know who is the one taking responsibility all the way through

(Iphigenie was called Meera at that time)

Bully who plays the victim

Straight upon her entry, Joy had started to play with the Sydney team and caused splitting within the team often undermining Ekta and Simran by pointing out their flaws and even at one point falsely accused them of stealing money from the Tribe Meetings. Obviously, we did not spot this red flag because we were busily defending ourselves from the Narcissist.
Joy had already started to recruit Clarito as her flying monkey and he was slowly but surely being primed. She had other uses in mind for him, but the grooming of her Narcissist supply had started.

At this point Nick was assisting Sree Maa and Shri Ji with administration related to Kosmic Fusion. Joy then set out to impress Nick. She began to take the lead in meetings, her method was to bulldoze others until they submit and let her take the lead. She also volunteered for all the tasks with no regard to other volunteers in the group. There was absolutely no time taken by Joy to understand her place in the group or when she stepped over others’ boundaries. Narcissists tend to not have any respect for others’ boundaries and are purely driven by their own agenda which is based on power and control over others.

Using her bulldozing and badmouthing method, Joy had taken over the hosting of the Kosmic Tribe together with Clarito. One time when Sree Maa and Shri Ji were visiting Sydney and gracing the Kosmic Tribe with their Presence, Joy actually put Sree Maa and Shri Ji on the side while she put the chairs for herself and Clarito in the centre of the gathering. Looking back, we can see how her true intentions were shining through already from the start…

It was at an expo in Newcastle mid 2013 where Joy started to groom Clarito fully and turned him against Simran and Ekta, playing the victim again and gaining his sympathy. Joy knows Clarito’s failing is to protect the weak, therefore she used him in a way that he witnesses situations where she plays the victim. She complained to him that nobody was supporting her and pretended that her English is not so good and asked Clarito to help her. Interesting to note she has an English degree for Chinese speakers and used to assess Chinese university students. She also doesn’t seem to have any problem speaking English on her current youtube channel. In any case, this trick of ‘my English is not so good’ she would pull out of her narcissist hat regularly.

Joy was constructing a facade of a docile and sincere, dedicated volunteer in front of Sree Maa and Shri Ji, but behaving very differently towards the volunteers and other FiTs. It is no surprise that people started leaving when Joy was the face of Kosmic Fusion in Australia. She pushed herself to be the leader, even though Sree Maa had always emphasized the importance of no hierarchy and no forming small groups. Joy was not just behaving like a bully towards fellow FiTs but also towards Pulsars. In this small excerpt you can see how she was communicating in a harsh, uncaring tone to Camilla, who was not part of the FiT Programme but kindly offered to help out. Is this how you would talk to someone who was happy to give of their free time or to anyone for that matter?
Read Joy's conversation with Camilla with a harsh tone (then she was called Komal)

In 2014 Joy set up Kosmic Fusion Australia with Clarito. She tricked Clarito into taking on the credit card for the company. She first convinced him they needed a credit card, and while they were both standing in the bank in front of the bank clerk, she would play the victim again. She told Clarito husband doesn’t really agree with her name being linked to the credit card, thereby putting him on the spot. Clarito being the protective gentlemen that he is, took the company credit card on his name.

Hunting in packs

Narcissists hunt in packs and you can see the same in this conversation between Iphigenie and Joy, where Iphigenie is sending aggressive emails to Jabeen and to Sheree, who had been a most mature, dependable and dedicated volunteer. Both Jabeen and Sheree are very well-spoken and beautiful, so for Joy and Iphigenie they were a threat. Narcissists are jealous by nature and want to be the best, so anyone perceived as better than them has to go. Joy is literally applauding the aggressive emails and they are gossiping about these two volunteers.

The Pulse of the FiT Programme was very different from what Joy Kuo and Iphigenie were displaying. It was about honesty, integrity, authenticity and transparency, about working as one, introspection and self-reflection (not judging others, gossiping and finding faults) and most of all about being the non-doer, stepping back and letting the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse step in.

We had no clue at the time what these two were up to, because we assumed everyone was there with the same genuine intention as ourselves. We were also vulnerable and porous as we were genuinely looking within and in the process of transformation. It is only in hindsight that we can see the subtle games that were being played and how Iphigenie and Joy without any conscience kept using and abusing Sree Maa's Compassion, Kindness and Trust. The golden rule of stepping back and being the non-doer, they completely ignored.

How Narcissists Run in Packs - Part 2 Narc tactics

Written together with my Kalyan Mitras Jeeya, Ekta and Simran

Narcissists hunt in packs and when a couple of narcissists joined our group, they exploited our most compassionate Teacher mercilessly and created a lot of havoc. One average narcissist can affect up to 30-40 people in their lifetime, so it actually a miracle we are still standing and doing fine, having had to deal with 5 narcissists (out of which 2 very malignant ones) in our group of 18.

It is only by the Grace of Sree Maa and the all-powerful, most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse that we are still fine and by the precious Teachings of our beloved Sadguru that we have been able to reflect and come to see things clearly. We feel strongly about sharing the Truth of what happened, as Joy Kuo and Iphigenie Amoutzias are spreading lies on the internet about Kosmic Fusion and our beloved Teacher, still trying to fulfill their vicious aim of sabotaging the philanthropic mission of Kosmic Fusion. We also hope this may give insight to other genuine seekers as we suspect that more people with NPD will be roaming around spiritual circles.

Narc Tactics

While Joy Awakening was causing discord in the Sydney team, Iphigenie was meddling with the team she had been graced with by Sree Maa in New Zealand after she kept asking for one. As the representative of Kosmic Fusion in New Zealand, Iphigenie was liaising with the Pulsars and was suggesting it was a cult to some of the attendees at the Kosmic Tribe. She was also organising Meet-up meditations were she was talking more nonsense, spreading seeds of doubt and on top of it using it to pick up men.

She was creating havoc within the team of volunteers/FiTs. Initially she was hanging out with Sarah but when Sarah didn’t give her what she wanted, she moved onto Renu who would do write-ups and help with the organising. She purposely caused problems between them to drive them apart. Narcissists work in a very sly and covert fashion so that it is hard to pinpoint at the time what is happening. Gaslighting, triangulations, flying monkeys, psychic warfare; the narcissist has got a whole arsenal to cause discord and confusion. It is only in hindsight that you can put the pieces of the puzzle together. And Iphigenie and Joy were a pro at it.

2014 was a year of practical training where through assisting in the organising of online workshops and events, we could practise being the non-doer. But not all were sincere in their practise… Iphigenie and Joy were not only trying to control what was happening in the area where they lived, but also the FiT Programme as a whole. Iphigenie was squeezing out the other volunteers in the on-line events, by always putting herself forward as the facilitator with no regards for others. She was using the top dog strategy to do this.

Joy too used the top dog strategy, always trying to trump others in subtle and not so subtle ways. End of 2014 we were asked to do a beautiful exercise of tuning in with the QVSWPP for 2 times a day for 21 days and then reflect and share how we experience our relationship with Sree Maa, QVSWPP and other FiTs. Simran wrote a beautiful, honest letter that shows true deep reflections. Joy purposely replied to this (not sending her own letter) to top Simran off with a letter that we feel is more like a boast than a genuine reflection.

Looking back the lead was being taken by Iphigenie and Joy who were working together to take over control. Joy would report others mistakes to Iphigenie and vice versa and also try to fill Sree Maa’s ears.

25/08/14, 19:49 - Komal Irene Kuo: So the second day we make it clear no talking inside the temple. .and Jabeen was another headache
25/08/14, 19:49 - Komal Irene Kuo: She was also in the stand but she tried to step in and keeps talking which is not helping
25/08/14, 19:50 - Meera: Of course no talking. Did the psychic talk?
Jabeen Jabeen....
25/08/14, 19:50 - Komal Irene Kuo: She also spent lots of time inside the temple to receive the energy
25/08/14, 19:50 - Meera: Haha, it's all about her
25/08/14, 19:51 - Komal Irene Kuo: Sharing some post with you
25/08/14, 19:51 - Komal Irene Kuo: Maa, something clicked to me while I was sleeping this morning, as Jabeen mentioned she is doing work placement receiving phone calls and giving consultation for suicidal cases recently, not sure if this would affect her and also the stand energetically; as I noticed she tends to spend more time inside the temple and receiving the energy transmission, and she followed Clarito going inside the temple nearly each time he went in, which I feel strange, Clarito also mentioned he never felt so heavy in the stand before like these two days. I don't know if there are any connections between these incidences, would like to bring my observations for your attention and would like to have your feedback on this, also your guidance on what to do if we have similar situation in the future events
25/08/14, 19:52 - Meera: Wow. Very good.
25/08/14, 19:52 - Meera: What did Maa say?
25/08/14, 19:53 - Meera: Must have been rather heavy. Jabeen still has so much ego too work through. ..

Tara has also personally witnessed how Joy confides in Iphigenie when she needed to vent her anger towards Clarito. It was after the 2015 Kawai Pura Pura, New Zealand retreat where she and Clarito had an argument about Clarito wanting to move out of Sydney to go work in Auckland to be physically closer to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. She had raised her voice at Clarito across the dinner table to make him feel guilty by saying “FINE! You go to New Zealand and I will handle Sydney all by myself! How’s that?” After dinner, she was pacing up and down with rage in the hotel room that Tara and Joy were sharing that night because Joy was so fearful and upset about losing her biggest supply and flying monkey to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. When Tara did not want to engage in her drama, that is when Joy called Iphigenie to the hotel room to rant and complain as they normally would about others behind their backs (in this case, Clarito’s).

When you read through their whatsapp conversation it is a constant judging and bad mouthing others with a sense of grandiosity that is typical of narcissists. In this excerpt of Iphigenie and Joy’s conversation you can see their sense of grandiosity and how they are even using their ‘dreams’ to gaslight others.

It is interesting Joy and Iphigenie are talking about the two faces of others, while they themselves turned out to be the biggest cheats and hypocrites on the FiT Programme. Throughout their whole conversation on whatsapp you can see theprojection of what they were doing onto others.

In fact, both Joy and Iphigenie have been working very hard but very slyly to get others out of the FiT Programme so they could be the best and eventually reach their goal of taking over and destroying the mission of Kosmic Fusion. Joy tried everything she could to get Jabeen/Jwala and Simran out playing very twisted games, and she kept suggesting to Mala to move back to the UK. Joy would attack Jwala time and again or use Clarito as her flying monkey.

Twisting and blaming

Joy said that Simran was the one who was responsible for destroying the relationship with Deb - an event organiser. She used the following incident regarding lunch to frame Simran so that she could get rid of her, making a mountain out of a molehill. You can read theemail conversation here.

After this email was sent, Joy accused Simran of destroying the relationship and putting Kosmic Fusions reputation on the line. Immediately after this occurred, she reported this to Jeeya, complaining about Simran. This was later brought up again by Joy in the 2017 reunion as a reason for asking Simran to leave the FiT training due to incompetence. Joy completely exaggerated the incident to a point where it was a “dismissable offence” in her eyes.

At events, it was clear that Joy was trying to control matters. Joy would constantly take photos of herself on the stand. Other volunteers would not necessarily like to be photographed but Joy wanted the volunteers to be photographed on the stand so that she could boast about how well things were going in Sydney, as she saw herself as the leader she thought it would impress Sree Maa and Shri Ji. She then duped Simran into posting the messages on whatsapp by saying that Sree Maa wanted to know what we were doing on the stand and what it looked like etc. Joy then went on to tell Jeeya that Simran came to the stand to take photographs and check in so that Sree Maa thought that Simran was busy on the stand. It was clear that other volunteers ie Simran, Mala and Jwala did not like their photographs taken but felt pressured to do so to buy into the front of “oneness” that Joy was trying to create.

Joy and Hanuman wanted to participate in an advert in the local press, but when Simran and Jwala declined, the situation was turned around to point fingers at Jwala and Simran by saying that we were not contributing to Kosmic Fusion so they signed up for the ad. By this time Joy and Hanuman had pulled out of doing the ad and Simran and Jwala were in a position where it was too late to pull out and had to go ahead with filling the advertising space. Joy then used it as evidence against Simran at the reunion. There are more examples of how Joy was twisting things around to point fingers at others and actually try to remove them from the FiT Programme.
Below is the feedback shared by Joy towards fellow volunteer Simran:

For the magazine advertisement for Northern Beaches Embrace Life event she and Jwala went ahead without consulting me and Hanuman, and then wanted to change to smaller size from 1/3 to 1/9 of the page after she and Jwala realised me and Hanuman not participating as we were not informed in the first place, the event organiser Deborah was not happy about the last minute change just before the due date as the magazine space been allocated, Deborah even wrote email asking me and Hanuman what’s happening, from her forwarded email we saw Simran told her because Kosmic Fusion is moving to new phase so not able to come up with bigger advertising space… this is how she slander Kosmic Fusion’s name and doing whatever she wants, if Deborah didn’t forward the email would have any clues of what’s happening. Same as Jwala in the advertisement she also put her consultation services before “Energy Healing with Bhakti Bhaav”.

Iphigenie too was working hard towards her goal of destruction. After she became the face of Kosmic Fusion in New Zealand, Pulsars and FiTs started leaving. Now there is only 1 left, Nandini.
The way she has used and abused one of the fellow FiTs, Renu is typical of narcissists and clearly shows the malignancy Iphigenie was carrying inside.

Iphigenie first played a friend to Renu, pretending to give a listening ear and support. This is how she won Renu’s trust. Renu was actively contributing with write-ups and organising Meetups, which came in handy to Iphigenie who tends to be lazy. Of course, while she was pretending to be her friend, she was gossiping about Renu to Joy behind her back. When Renu came back very ill from a trip to Europe mid 2015, she stayed with Iphigenie whom she thought was her friend to recover. Renu was actually very ill with encephalitis and required medical attention but Iphigenie didn’t care. It was Sree Maa and Shri Ji who had to intervene and personally take Renu to the hospital. Iphigenie later admitted that she didn’t care if Renu died. Zero empathy, zero conscience.

When Renu came too much to handle as she needed a lot of attention, Iphigenie gave her the cold shoulder. This came to a pinnacle at the India trip and shocked Renu who didn’t understand why a friend would treat her that way. Narcissists see others as objects to use and abuse. Iphigenie in fact wanted Renu out as she had seen her strength during the India Pilgrimage, where she encountered a lot of physical challenges.

Early 2017 Renu all of a sudden left the FiT Programme. Other FiTs were baffled and had no idea what happened and of course Iphigenie kept her mouth shut. Well, she did write a shaming andblaming email to Renu as a reply to Renu’s genuine apology. The letter is actually a complete projection from Iphigenie’s side. She made sure she copied all the rest of us in (but not Sree Maa and Shri Ji…) to desensitize us.

How Narcissists Run in Packs - Part 3 Faking it

Written together with my Kalyan Mitras Simran, Ekta and Jeeya

Narcissists are present in all walks of life, including in spiritual circles or especially in spiritual circles as there they are bound to find ample narcissistic supply of empathetic and compassionate people. Narcissists are drawn to empaths like moths to a flame. People with NPD are the proverbial wolves in sheep clothing as they hide behind carefully crafted masks while playing their dirty games, so that for an unsuspecting person it is hard to realize who they are dealing with. We are sharing some of our experiences in detail, not in judgement, but to bring awareness. In dealing with the narcissists we have also learnt a lot about ourselves and how they were able to prey on our weaknesses. It is only by the Grace of Sree Maa who kept the group dynamics safe that we are still together and doing well.

In 2015, all FiTs were graced with a phenomenal residential Retreat where Sree Maa showered countless blessings (see the beautiful blogs from our Kalyan Mitra Niranjana for more details) to help us move more firmly into the non-doer and lay the foundation for Bhakti. This was also where Sree Maa graced us with beautiful akarmi deh (non-doer) names, which we were free to take or not.

At this same Retreat, we discussed how to take the 5D++ AwaKeNiN TrAnsForMaTioN workshop out to more people. Sree Maa had been conducting all the workshops either online or physically till then. We all collectively came to a very effortless ‘Homage format’ after open discussions with Sree Maa. In this format, Sree Maa does not physically show up, but removes the 3D/4D dense obsolete grids remotely. All FiTs had to do was to give a Homage to Sree Maa and Shri Ji.

As a practise run, Niranjana and Jwala were asked to come to the front of the room to present. Both Joy and Iphigenie didn’t like this at all with their envious nature. Seeing this, Joy wanted Jwala out even more which she pursued till the end of the FiT Programme as we will relate in this blog series. After the Homage format started, the narcissists went haywire as they now felt, they had even more control as Sree Maa would no longer be showing up physically in the 5D++ AwaKeNiN TrANsForMaTioN workshops.

In mid 2015, Jeeya was given the position to be the intimate assistant of Sree Maa. When this happened, Joy started to use Jeeya to get close to Sree Maa, and used the fact that she spoke Mandarin to bond with Jeeya . Jeeya and Joy were always speaking Mandarin around other FiT which created a sense of distrust and separation from the others.

Despite the fact that Sree Maa is aware of all the narcissist traits and the ill manners that Jeeya has in her, Sree Maa entrusted Jeeya with this position. During that time, there was this conflict going on within the Sydney group and Jeeya was given the chance to give her feedback of the conflict.
At that point in time, Jeeya has been recruited by Joy as her flying monkey. Joy has been subtly projecting to Jeeya over the years that she was the victim and Jabeen was a big bully. So Jeeya was unable to stay neutral in her feedback and taken Joy’s side.

After taking up the position of being the intimate assistant of Sree Maa, Jeeya started to feel superior and thinking that she was better than the other volunteers. She started to enjoy the control and power with the position. Being a typical narcissist, Jeeya started to think that she knew everything and meddled with the messages from Sree Maa. Jeeya altered the tone of Sree Maa’s messages, at the same time she wanted to look good in front of the volunteers being that fake miss goodie two shoes, all for her personal vanity.

During all this time, Jeeya was giving selective information to the volunteers, she did not maintain transparency thinking that she can filter the information from Sree Maa, so that she will remain as the most important person in Kosmic Fusion.

Joy who was out for power and money made sure that Jeeya was part of her close connection to give the impression that she too was close to Sree Maa in order to use Sree Maa’s name to abuse and exploit the Australian volunteers. Joy was making use of Jeeya to get sensitive information about Sree Maa and internal operation of Kosmic Fusion. Jeeya was also trying to boost her own ego and became the ready supply for Joy.

Joy spent time finding out the weaknesses in Jeeya and started to act like a close friend who would groom Jeeya with gifts, to make Jeeya feel special and stroke her ego. Joy isolated Jeeya from the rest of the FiTs in Sydney to maintain control. She would do the same thing whenever any other FiTs would visit Sydney. And again the pattern occurred when Sree Maa and Shri Ji would visit Sydney. This is a typical strategy used by narcissists to isolate their victims.

After years of investment of time and small gifts to Jeeya, she was being tricked by Joy into believing that she was her friend and gained her trust.

Joy was playing the victim again when she shared with Jeeya that she suspected Marlena has stolen her practitioner notes and tricked Jeeya into sharing the transcriptions that Jeeya had done of the QVSWPP Practitioner Training.

In the email Joy urgently forwarded to Sree Maa you can see how she accuses Marlena of stealing her notes, which Marlena had not done at all. This is how she would try to discredit others behind their backs to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. She would also gossip about Marlena to other people. Everything was done using the facade of a sincere volunteer who would do anything to serve and protect Kosmic Fusion.

Jeeya was blinded by her own greed that she was unable to see the ill intention that Joy had for Kosmic Fusion. It was only during the stay in the Ashram House mid 2017 that Jeeya got to witness how Joy was demeaning the FiTs in the Ashram House and how she was bullying the FiTs with power and control, shoving FiTs in the Ashram House, pushing blame and stealing credits of the FiTs because she wanted to get into Sree Maa’s good books.

Jeeya was the witness to Joy’s greed when she took everything (clothings, accessories) that Sree Maa wanted her to share with the rest of the FiTs if it’s unsuitable for her. Joy ensured she gave reasons to justify herself for claiming everything, she barely left any items for the rest of the FiTs to share and was taking at least 2 big luggages of clothing for herself.

At Akashic Records Master Readers Workshop Phase 2 end of 2015, Sree Maa showed us the potential of the Akashic Records being neutralized through Bhakti. Sree Maa never said a fake devotee would work, but Joy immediately jumped on it to commercialize and encash on Akashic Records Neutralizing, even though we were only allowed to practise it, see for example her conversation with an unsuspecting Pulsar Polly.

Joy even gave an interview about Akashic Records Neutralizing behind everyone’s back, only promoting herself and completely edging Sree Maa out without whom there would be no QVSWPP or any Akashic Records Neutralizing.
Iphigenie saw Joy’s website promoting Akashic Records Neutralizing and wanted the same of course.

12/04/16, 12:06 - Meera: hArI OM brAhmn Komal 🙏🏻💗🙏🏻
Could I ask you for advice please. Since a few days I have been working on creating a German website. I am overwhelmed by the templates on wix.i had chosen one I like but it is a blog. And that somehow doesn't seem to work.
Could you please tell which page you have used or could recommend? 🙏🏻🙇🏻🙏🏻
12/04/16, 14:09 - Komal Irene Kuo: hArI OM brAhMAn Meera 🙏💓🙏
It would be the best we have a zoom meeting so you can show me where you are up to... i'm still unpacking and some renovations happening 😅 when would you like to have a call so we'll see what we can do 🙏💓🙏
12/04/16, 14:44 - Meera: Gosh you are too kind 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Only after I had send the text did I remember your move. I do not want to create any trouble for you. I am just planning to create atwo page site offering Akaashik Records neutralising session and one about short description of myself.
12/04/16, 14:45 - Meera: Then I will gradually add more content. But I want to start offering the neutralising session first

In May/June 2016, we were graced with another amazing residential Retreat where Sree Maa spoke in depth about Bhakti and also revealed that it was Sree Maa’s utmost devotion to the main holder of the Shunya Bindu, Bhagwan Swaminarayan, that we receive as the QVSWPP.

Bhakti had only just been introduced, but Joy and Iphigenie were doing their best to pretend what great devotees they were. Iphigenie even got a flyer printed for an expo in Christchurch in 2016 which was all about her being a great devotee. She had written the same on her German website. This is around the same time where Joy gave her secret interview about Akashic Records Neutralizing sessions.

Both of them were trying to fool the other FiTs and Sree Maa and Shri Ji with their display of fake seva and devotion, but you can only fake sincerity and affection for so long, eventually the Truth came out.

How Narcissists Run in Packs - Part 4 Use and abuse

Written together with my Kalyan Mitras Ekta, Simran and Jeeya

The teachings in the FiT Programme were based on Sanatana Dharma principles from day one. Sree Maa gave us the freedom to keep our own moral compass as Sree Maa believes in Sanatana Dharma and had already told us that Sanatana means eternal and Dharma is the moral compass inside each person. Dharma means conscience inside is working and one is able to do the righteous things. It turned out that some of the FiTs had absolutely no moral compass and just used and abused Kosmic Fusion resources and Sree Maa’s Kindness and Compassion for their own agendas. This completely fits the characteristics of a narcissist as they lack empathy and conscience.

Joy used and abused intellectual property and Kosmic Fusion Resources however she saw fit. She approached Nick, one of the Pulsars, to do some of her renovation work at her home for free, only giving him board and lodgings. But when Nick needed some medical attention, she immediately wanted to get rid of him. She was very much focussed on what she could get out of the situation rather than have true empathy for Nicks plight and what he was going through.

Joy also knew that Mala was travelling to inner and outer Sydney to support her and Clarito/Hanuman with events and would rather have Hanuman give her a lift than to give Mala a lift home. With all due respect to Mala, Mala is the eldest in our FiT Program and should have been treated as such. Again she put her own needs first and showed no empathy for others.

If Joy wanted to do an expo, she would say Clarito wanted to do it. When the others said no, she would say Clarito is really pushing, he really wants to do it otherwise he would get really upset. In addition to using Claritos name to mask her own ambition, Joy was constantly asking Simran and other volunteers in Sydney to fund events which were driven by her to keep up the appearance of being very successful, under the guise of doing it "for Kosmic Fusion". She became obsessed with building a database which she used for her own personal side business, all at the expense of the volunteers and Sree Maa and Shri Ji.

Joy hatched a plan with Clarito who was now under her control and used as a flying monkey, to extract money from Simran. Without consulting with the other FiTs she called a conference call and asked Simran to “backpay” Kosmic Fusion Australia for the past events that Simran had volunteered at. Using her name and shame tactics she put Simran on the spot and wrote the following message.

The fact of the matter was that she had racked up company expenses to fund her own business and this was a roundabout way of retrieving those funds, again using and abusing the volunteers for her own benefit. In addition, she would give a very distorted picture to the other FiTs outside of Australia that only her and Hanuman were contributing and none of the other FiTs in Sydney, but the truth was completely different.

Something very similar was happening in New Zealand where Iphigenie was using others left right and centre to fulfill her agenda.

Iphigenie was planning to put her fangs into the Ashram house after seeing how big the Ashram house was, Iphigenie strategically made her moves to engage Jeeya as her flying monkey. First Iphigenie played Jeeya into believing how much she would like to be part of the Ashram house project by making sure that Jeeya was there to “witness” how she was selling off her belly dancing items to show off how unattached she is to her possessions. Iphigenie also told Jeeya that she was closing down her belly dance business for the Ashram House project, when the truth is her belly dance business was not making money and Iphigenie did not have a choice but to close it down because it was not commercially viable.

Iphigenie even played the devotee card with Jeeya by asking Jeeya to join her in getting a small mandir, frames, pooja items for Bhagwan Swaminarayan so that she will not be disrespectful.
Iphigenie was constantly “sharing” with Jeeya how much she wanted to be in the Ashram House and kept asking Jeeya for “advice” how she can better improved herself, giving Jeeya the false impression that she was really keen on changing. Iphigenie did not tell her about the message that she received personally from Sree Maa telling her that she was not ready for the Ashram House, Jeeya having her own personal agenda of wanting to leave for Singapore invited Iphigenie into the Ashram House, lying in front of Sree Maa how devoted Iphigenie was and encouraging her to come to the Ashram house.

Joy wasn’t the only one using the other FiTs to get money. Iphigenie was making use of her stay in the Ashram House to trick Renu and Orja to give her a loan. Iphigenie was hiding the fact that she used Sree Maa’s name as an excuse to get the loans but was using the money to pay off her personal bills.

While Iphigenie was acting as if she was important on the whatsapp groups towards the overseas FiTs being in the Ashram House, she was really causing a lot of harassment to everyone in the Ashram, most of all Sree Maa and Shri Ji. She never mentioned to anyone she had not been invited into the Ashram House, but forced herself into there uninvited.

In fact, the Ashram House had become more like a narcissist war zone where all the FiTs living in the Ashram House were in there for their personal gains, fighting amongst themselves, abusing and taking advantage of Sree Maa's kindness and compassion. The true goal of the Ashram project had been completely lost sight of.

Iphigenie was behaving like she owns the Ashram House when Sree Maa and Shri Ji were not around, she went into Sree Maa and Shri Ji’s room and violated Sree Maa’s personal space by going through Sree Maa’s personal possessions. Iphigenie would spread herself across Sree Maa and Shri Ji’s couch and even purposefully pointed her feet towards Shreeji Maharaj’s portrait which is considered very disrespectful. Iphigenie was also making Jeeya handle all the laundry and ironing, Nandini all the housekeeping while she was lying down on the couch watching her German movies.

Jeeya and Nandini were humiliated by Iphigenie with her constant correction of what they were doing or saying. Iphigenie made sure that she was in control and making Jeeya and Nandini slave for her in a very subtle way. Iphigenie did not even allow Jeeya and Nandini to use the kitchen when she was around, she constantly ridiculed Jeeya, finding faults of what Jeeya has done for the pantry with words like “why would you want to arrange it this way?” “ why are you not using containers to keep this?”.

The FiTs in the Ashram painted a false picture of the life in the Ashram, making it sound like it was very difficult, but the truth was the opposite. Sree Maa would often cook for them and even spend time how to prepare Indian dishes. Sree Maa literally gave of herself 24/7 to help the ones with narcissism to move beyond their afflictions.

The world advises a no contact rule for narcissists, but Sree Maa, being the epitome of Grace and Compassion, welcome everyone with open arms as Sree Maa only sees the Divine spark within everyone. While Nandini and Jeeya welcomed the Grace and were making a sincere effort to change, Iphigenie only kept misusing Sree Maa’s Kindness and was dead set on her mission to sabotage and destroy Kosmic Fusion.

How Narcissists Run in Packs - Part 5 When the mask cracks

Written together with my Kalyan Mitras Simran, Ekta and Jeeya

Eventually when you spend enough time around a narcissist and pay attention, it becomes impossible for them to hide who they are. As most of us were sleeping and tend to run away from conflict rather than speak up, we failed to spot the many red flags and it took us a long time to see through the games that Joy and Iphigenie were playing. It is in hindsight and only by the Grace of Sree Maa that we can recognize the full extent of their behaviour and can put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Sree Maa’s Compassion and Kindness knows no bounds. Sree Maa is a highly evolved, enlightened Being who allows people be who they are and then show them why they need to transform, and ultimately why they need to let go of their dark self. While we were in a deep unconscious slumber, Sree Maa was taking all the narcissistic ‘bullets’ on herself so that the rest of the FiTs would not be impacted. Such is the Grace of Sree Maa who not only protected us but also enlightened us to recognise how we unwittingly invited these narcissists into our space and liberated us from wearing blinkers.

As Nandini had expressed her wish to get over her afflictions during the 2016 Taupo Retreat and Jeeya too wanted to transform, Sree Maa patiently worked with them in a safe, open and transparent manner through voice dialoguing and enlightening Discourses that were of benefit to all FiTs. It taught us a lot about spiritual bypassing and how to overcome the small/false/dark self and move into our Brahmroop. Joy and Iphigenie never put this knowledge into practise and never said a word they were having similar narcissistic shades in them. Though they tried to hide and remain under the radar, in the course of 2017 the Truth started to come out.

During the 2017 India Pilgrimage, Tara had experienced the true shades of Joy and Iphigenie. Joy went so far as to physically bully Tara which was shocking because Joy always portrayed herself as soft and gentle. She had asked Tara to help with voice recording. One incident, they were at the back of the group of FITs and Joy told Tara to go to the front to do the recording and then unexpectedly shoved Tara sideways that she almost lost her balance. Tara then told Joy not to push her but she gave her a blank look and said “It was not a push.” instead of offering a simple apology. Again, narcissists never think they are ever in the wrong and would gaslight you to think that nothing happened. In another incident, Joy out of the blue suddenly grabbed Tara’s wrist while she was holding the voice recorder and handled her roughly until it hurt her while bossing her to “do it properly”.

Iphigenie was behaving very passive-aggressively with Tara throughout the pilgrimage. And Tara had brought this to light to Joy and had regretted it because later Iphigenie approached Tara to instigate a verbal attack on her when they were alone.

Needless to say, Tara was very shaken by the experience she had with both of them on the trip and she wasn’t the only one who had experienced intimidation and nasty behaviour at their hands during the trip. Tara was further made to keep quiet as they both worked together to continue to put her down in the Whatsapp chat groups creating a bad image of her to the other FITs.


Sree Maa had suspended all events and workshops since end of 2016 due to everything going on and stepped down as the Teacher of the FiT Programme 18 March 2017. This did not deter Joy to want to continue with all her activities, running meditation circles and Abundance circles online without approval. She even went to the extent of hosting a fake AwaKeNiN TrANsForMaTioN workshop.

Iphigenie had no qualms to help move another FiT into the Ashram (her accomplice) while Sree Maa and Shri Ji were travelling in April 2017, again no permission taken.

Joy tried hard to deflect the spotlight from herself after Iphigenie was voted out by the other FiTs in May 2017, making a big deal about a Bhakti Bhaav brochure Simran and Jwala had printed and an advertisement they took out. She ‘conveniently’ forgot to mention how she framed Simran and Jwala into this and also that she was doing much worse behind everyone’s back. The rest of the FiT had no clue what had happened or what had even gone on in the dynamics of the FiTs in Sydney so a call was organised to clarify matters. Joy (then called Komal) completely hijacked this call to shift the blame on Simran and also put Jwala in a bad light.

On that call she was using all the Narc’s tricks in the book of taking over the conversation, playing the victim and telling lies, completely manipulating the situation and using the rest of the core team members as flying monkeys. Joy would constantly give half truths and complete lies to pull wool over the other core team members eyes, so she could control the situation.

Joy Kuo came to the Ashram House in June 2017, believing herself to be a great sevak and devotee who would show the other FiTs in the Ashram House how to offer seva. She would also lead the organisation of the Reunion Retreat, a gathering organised by the FiT for the FiT to come together and honestly look at what each one had contributed to the failure of the FiT Programme. Initially Joy wanted to have the Reunion at her place, the ideal place for her to have control, but some of the FiTs were not comfortable with that idea. Sree Maa had kindly offered the basement area of the Ashram House as a place where the Reunion could be held and also said children were welcome to come.

Here Joy played another dirty game. She didn’t want Jwala to show up at the Reunion as she knew Jwala had started to see through her games and could expose her. She also knew that if Jwala wasn’t able to bring her daughter, she wouldn’t come to the Reunion. So she painted a picture to the other FiTs that the schedule of the Reunion would be really busy and it could get quite intense, so that the mothers would conclude it is best not to bring the children. She actually confided in Jeeya this was her intention before getting on call with other FiTs regarding the Reunion. She also blatantly lied to one of them that what Sree Maa actually meant was not to bring the children.

None of the FiT ended up bringing their children and Jwala ended up not coming to the Reunion Retreat and left the FiT Programme.

During the Reunion Joy behaved like a bully and was not participating like the rest of the FiT. She did not want to fill out the questionnaires made by the FiTs for the purpose of honest reflection, and in conversations kept pushing the blame on others and pointing fingers at Clarito/Hanuman. Prior to the Reunion, all FiTs in Sydney were asked to reflect and without any judgement write down their observations of the team. If you read what /Joy wrote down, you can see that it is far from a neutral observation and more a litany of finger pointing to others.

It was shortly after the Reunion that Joy’s true face became crystal clear to everyone. And it was thanks to Sree Maa's intuitive move to cut off Joy's access to Sree Maa and Kosmic Fusion resources that things came out in the open. Hanuman went no contact with her and Simran also was offered no contact under the guise of 'quarantine' to keep her safe from Joy who wanted her out. Joy made some admittance about her dubious intentions, as she was hoping to get access to Hanuman again, but mostly continued to hide. She was given many chances to be honest and admit to what she had done so she could move beyond it but continued to play games till the end. In September 2017 she was lovingly asked to leave.

Narcissists can’t stand their true face being uncovered and Joy and Iphigenie ganged up and instigated a smear campaign where they organised a paid article filled with lies to slander and malign Sree Maa and Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion out of revenge. They actively recruited one of the volunteers who had left in 2015 to collude with them. They also approached another ex-FiT, Renu, but she would not support them at all, knowing the truth of what happened. Joy is still continuing her fake victim story and trying to harm the name of Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa and Shri Ji in her new youtube channel "Awakening with Joy" and Facebook group she set up. There she is balantly plagiarizing the work of Sree Maa which you can see in the post below.

Below you can see Joy's Youtube channel where she claims to be an energy healer and spiritual consultant with 10 years of experience and were she is still playing the victim and using Dimash to trap innocent people. Where are the certificates and proofs of her 10 years of experience? Interesting to note that in 2013 (i.e. 5 years ago) she herself said in a video testimonial about the AwaKeNiN TrANsForMaTioN workshop that she is so happy she has now become an instant healer...


When Iphigenie was being questioned in May 2017 by the other FiT for why she was mentioning that Kosmic Fusion was a cult to Pulsars/new FITs/volunteers, see how quickly Joy stood by Kosmic Fusion to defend her own self and being very cold to Amoutzias. Weren’t they were like best friends before?


Around that same time, Joy sent the following scathing email to Iphigenie in response to her facebook post.

But oh look, now that Joy was also asked to leave, is it surprising that they gang up together to create a smear campaign? Amoutzias of course isn’t angry at Joy for betraying her before because Amoutzias needs someone driven like Joy and use her to do all the smear campaigning while playing the victim and quiet one. They are merely being a shill for each other to make their smear campaign more believable.

It is sad to see how Iphigenie and Joy who were graced with such an amazing opportunity to change having been taken under the Gracious Wings of beloved Sree Maa, chose to hold on to the blanket of the small self and cut the branch they were sitting on.

In conclusion, we like to share this excerpt from another article that we felt was very relevant and described quite well what we have seen and experienced:

Spiritually they are closed.

They have parasitic convergences whereby they momentarily infect another person like a buzzing bee in the wrong hive. Eventually, the victim is preserved by, what in Hinduism is referred to as the forces of Vishnu, and the narcissistic charade is destroyed by Shiva. The narcissist is so closed-minded & proudly arrogant, however, that they walk away demonizing their victim as a natural defense surrounding the closed-mind. Read full article.

Sunday, 26 August 2018

Narcissists in Spiritual Circles

With so many positive experiences I have had with Kosmic Fusion, I decided to joined the Facilitator In Training(FIT) programme in 2014, with the genuine intent to volunteer and share what I had found with as many people out there whose life may be touched by the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse the same way IT has touched mine.

Never would I have imagined that I would run into, not one but many, people with all the different shades of Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD) in a spiritual group where I thought I could find respite and be safe after my divorce with a covert narcissist. I assumed everyone who joined was a genuine seeker of the Absolute Truth like me. But the truth is Joy Kuo saw an opportunity for herself and was gathering Kosmic Fusion intellectual property so she could make money by holding Kosmic Fusion related workshops and siphoning participant’s details from Kosmic Fusion expos and events and approaching these clients(as Joy would call them) directly. She even went so far as to hold an 5D++ AwaKeNiN TrANsForMaTioN workshop without Sree Maa’s permission even when Sree Maa had suspended all workshops at the end of 2016. She had been planning and scheming from the very beginning to take over and be the face of Kosmic Fusion and expand into, to quote Joy, the Chinese market. The problem in the spiritual world today is that people are turning spirituality into a business, isn't it?

Iphigenie was destroying Kosmic Fusion from the inside out due to her pathological envy for Sree Maa and was behaving maliciously and manipulating other volunteers and FITs to leave Kosmic Fusion. We were left with no choice but to ask Joy and Iphigenie to leave Kosmic Fusion and now they are in a bitter rage for revenge after a public notice of their dissociation from Kosmic Fusion was published.

Smear campaign

From my own experience, breaking up and getting out of a friendship/relationship with a narcissist is always a painful, causing much psychological, emotional, mental and sometimes physical harm like in my case with my ex-husband. When I divorced my narcissistic ex-husband, he immediately went and spread lies to everyone about me such as that I stole all his money and ran off with it. He did this so that everyone saw me as the perpetrator when the truth was it was him who had stolen every cent in my bank account not to mention the sexual and physical abuse he had committed while we were married. Of course, he will twist the story and point the fingers at me first before anyone found out the real reason why I dumped him in the first place. The narcissists are the real perpetrators who will run a smear campaign to make themselves look like the victim when they are far from being innocent and this is exactly what Joy and Iphigenie are doing. Any readers who had any form of relationship with a person with NPD can definitely relate to what I am talking about.

Narcissists smear campaign

In this case, I will vouch that Sree Maa and Shri Ji are the biggest victim of Joy and Iphigenie's narcissistic rage because they were called out and caught for what they were doing and are now running a smear campaign to preserve their reputation and cover up their misdeeds. To run their smear campaign, they both joined hands and recruited flying monkeys, which is a tactic the narcissist use to abuse by proxy, through publishing a paid article filled with lies, exaggerations and half truths about Sree Maa and Shri Ji.

Sharing an excerpt from another blogger below:

So why do Narcissist use flying monkeys?
A flying monkey is one of the many weapons in the Narcissist's arsenal. The sole reason Narcissists use flying monkeys is because they get to do the Narcissist's dirty work. This works out perfectly for the Narcissists because then they can claim innocence, and that they didn't do or say anything "wrong." They get to "keep their hands clean" and claim to be the proverbial victim!

And oh boy, do the Narcissists play the victim incredibly well!

Narcissists use flying monkeys to continue the abuse, even after the discard. It will come in the form of more verbal attacks, social media smear campaigns, and financial abuse.

For the full article, click here:  https://freedomfromnarcissisticandemotionalabuse.weebly.com/blog/flying-monkeys

With what I have just shared, I feel that it is all the more crucial that we educate ourselves on the many shades of Narcissistic Personality Disorders so that we don't get recruited as their flying monkey or become another one of their victims as we can meet these people with NPD at all levels of society and not just in romantic relationships. I read on www.bpdcentral.com that according to the largest study ever conducted on personality disorders (PD) by the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), 5.9% of the U.S. population has BPD (Grant et al. 2008) and 6.2% has NPD. The current population of the U.S. today is estimated to be 327 million and 6.2% out of that population is a staggering 20,274,000 million people with NPD in the U.S. alone. Have you been hurt by a psychopathic narcissist?

Narcissistic Abuse

Note: This blog post is intended to share my experiences with people with narcissistic personality disorders so it may be helpful to others who are going through a similar experience because silence is NOT ok.

Saturday, 25 August 2018

My Relationship With A Covert Narcissist

My Godfather introduced me to his nephew who was smart and charming when I was 16 years old and he worked his way to becoming my best friend. He came across very loving and caring towards me as he gave me emotional support when I was going through a rough time with my family where my father's side of the family harassed us with black magic. I came from a dysfunctional family and he gave me the love and support that I needed. He convinced me that we were soulmates and he planned to enter the same college to be with me and he promised we'd get married in the near future. I thought I was the luckiest girl to have found true love so early in life.

Eventually, he took me in to live with his family as his fiancee under the pretext to protect me from all the negativity surrounding my family. He promised my Godfather that he would take good care of me and he believed him because everyone perceived him as a good and innocent-looking boy. But that is because he always wore a different mask in the presence of others.

Two faced narcissist

During the initial years of our relationship he made many promises including marriage but none of them materialized and whenever I brought the subject up he said I was demanding.

When he wanted to start a company after we graduated from University, he manipulated me into helping him borrow money from my Godfather saying he was working towards our future so I worked hard to help build the company up. During the initial years, he never even paid me a salary but made me do all the work he didn't like. He started to subtly belittle me, controlled the way I looked and dressed and limited my contact with friends and family as he gets extremely jealous whenever I speak to friends especially if they were male. But he had double standards and when he wanted to have another woman while being in a relationship with me, I broke up with him and left.

He came grovelling and crying to me that he had learnt his lesson that losing me was what made him realized that he was incomplete without me. I felt sorry for him and I was silly enough to accept him back. Again, he made promises to change and painted a picture of a bright future together. We eventually registered our marriage when we were around 27 years old so I really thought he was being genuine about changing this time. But when I brought up the idea of having a wedding or buying our own home instead of living with his parents, he said I was being demanding as always and asking too much out of him as weddings and property are costly things. Turns out he only registered the marriage to trap me into his web to continue being his narcissistic supply. The painful truth was that he never ever loved me to begin with to actually want to marry me.

Narcissistic supply

When our company finally made some money, he convinced me to open a joint account with him and I entrusted him with all my hard-earned savings. After all, we were husband and wife at that time. Then he said he would invest the money and would give it back to me later. But when I asked him about my money later, he said "What money?" I thought he was just kidding around until he said with a smirk, "It's all my money".

Why narcissists smirk

He became more rigid and bad tempered and it was almost like he resented me for him having to marry me. Throughout our marriage he also treated me very badly like not allowing me to spend on food or seek treatment for chronic body pain because it meant that he would need to spend "his" money. Whenever I fell sick and needed medical attention, he would say that I was making things up. He would also use emotional blackmail on me, for example, he would threatened to starve himself to make me feel guilty so I wouldn't go out when friends invited me out for dinner. And he would pick a fight with me minutes before we attend a party or function with my family or friends so I end up not going or end up crying. It was like he could not stand seeing me having a good time. Whenever I confronted him about his abusive ways, he said I was imagining things and assured me that I will never find anyone in this world who loved me like he did. My depression worsened everyday and I was plagued with thoughts of suicide.

Narcissists are bullies

One day, I felt like I have reached a breaking point so I told him that I wanted to find a separate job so that I can earn some income to meet my basic needs. As usual, he started his psychological abuse and started to yell at me as normally I would keep quiet if he raised his voice as I didn't like to rock the boat. But this time, I just couldn't take it anymore so I stood up to my defense and I was so frustrated for feeling tortured for so long that I threw a water bottle across the room. Then, it happened so unexpectedly that he threw the comforter over me so I couldn't fight back and he began punching me. Because of the comforter I didn't have any bruises to show to proof the physical abuse. He said it was to "teach me a lesson". I could not believe he would actually resort to physical violence after he failed to control me with sexual abuse. I was in so much shock that I couldn't move for some time and sat on the bed in silence.

When I spoke to him about what happened the next day, he first tried to look innocent and guilty thinking I might let it go and forgive him like I always do whenever he treated me badly. But when I told him I was not okay with it because it was wrong to physically abuse me then his reaction changed so quickly from his fake remorse to being angry and defensive and he pointed at me with his finger saying it was me who made him do it. He reasoned that it was because I was acting out of line and going crazy that he was forced to react that way. Whenever I tried to confront him with his abusive ways it would always be like this where he would twist things around and lead me to think that I was the bad person. I was always made to feel guilty and truly believed I was the problem.

Narcissists blame
Narcissist abuse

Note: This blog post is intended to share my experiences with people with narcissistic personality disorders so it may be helpful to others who are going through a similar experience because silence is NOT ok.

Friday, 24 August 2018

Spiritual Bypassing In The FIT Programme

Spiritual bypass had also been a topic in the FIT programme and we were even given ample time to do an exercise to research and study on the topic. According to Wikipedia, a spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”. The term was introduced in the early 1980s by John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist. In the course of the FIT programme it was important that we looked at where we had done spiritual bypass and not indulge in it but really looking in within ourselves and reflect on our own. Both Joy and Iphigenie's case is an example of doing spiritual bypassing in the FIT programme and even after it was brought up as a study topic they still chose not to reflect on their own.

Joy and Iphigenie both had said that they were both Buddhists. Iphigenie was even a leader in her Buddhist circle for many years. As Buddhists they didn’t even learn the crux of the Buddhist teaching and realize for themselves that the root cause of their suffering is due to their own doing of operating as non-self/ego self/false self. They had sat on the course and knowingly bypassed all the teachings and self-reflections so what more can Sree Maa teach them if they have decided for themselves to commit spiritual bypass even as Buddhists for so many years too? If only they spent the same amount of time and energy on looking at themselves to see how they are their own cause of their suffering in the first place instead of being so hell bent on taking revenge on the only person in the world who only loved and cared for their souls.

Now, they have the audacity to make a mockery out of our Sadguru, Sree Maa and Bhagwan Swaminarayan in their smear campaign. If they were Buddhists for so many years before they joined the FIT programme, this means that they were never atheists so how come they never reacted the way they did with Buddhism when Sanatana Dharma and teachings of Bhagwan Swaminarayan were shared and introduced? How come Joy and Iphigenie never mocked Buddha, who is also an Avatar of the Absolute, the way they mocked Bhagwan Swaminarayan? Why are they now complaining about Indian religion elements in the teaching in the FIT programme as if it was a bad thing when Buddha was an Indian prince and Buddhism originated from India?

We were also given ample time to decide and reflect on why we would like to join the FIT programme. And before proceeding further with each workshop during the FIT programme, we were always informed in writing to decide if we wished to continue and that we were always given the freedom to leave at any point in time without any judgment from anyone whatsoever. So my question is, if Joy and Iphigenie now claim they were so uncomfortable in the FIT programme why didn’t they just exit gracefully if they find that it doesn’t resonate with them anymore?

Humbly sharing Sree Maa's discourse where Sree Maa was trying to help Iphigenie to be aware of her cognitive dissonance.

Note: This blog post is intended to share my experiences with people with narcissistic personality disorders so it may be helpful to others who are going through a similar experience because silence is NOT ok.

Thursday, 23 August 2018

A Devotee In Disguise Named Joy Kuo

Joy Kuo was only wearing the mask of a fake devotee and came into Kosmic Fusion because she saw many opportunities for herself and is not the selfless and altruistic person that she was portraying herself to be. I have personally witnessed Joy taking advantage of the 2015 Kawai Pura Pura spiritual retreat as her business networking ground for her Multilevel Marketing businesses where she tried recruiting me and other FITs as well as 5D++ Pulsars. She started convincing others to join by using Sree Maa’s name, that it was Sree Maa’s recommendation. When Iphigenie informed Sree Maa about how it became all about money and it was only Sree Maa who intervened that she stopped approaching people from Kosmic Fusion with the MLM business. Why was she not angry at Iphigenie I wonder?

At the Kawai Pura Pura retreat, I witnessed how Joy was always being playful as she flirted and fawned over the male devotee throughout the retreat even though she was already a married woman with a son. She has an unhealthy obsession for him and I had become a witness when they both argued when the male devotee was considering the idea of moving away from Sydney to Auckland to work and be closer to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. Joy and I were sharing a hotel room after the retreat ended. That night, when she had got so upset after arguing with the male devotee she was pacing up and down our hotel room and having an angry outburst. When I did not want to engage in her drama, I saw her calling someone on her phone and was surprised to see Iphigenie showing up in our hotel room a few moments later where Joy proceeded to rant about him to her. I thought it was odd that out of all the FITs Joy chose a New Zealand FIT to confide in instead of a Sydney FIT regarding her personal feelings about the male devotee. It makes sense now that they both have been each other’s go to person since before I even joined the FIT programme when they needed to rant about someone in the FIT programme including Sree Maa! She was given the beautiful name Komal which means soft by Sree Maa but she only pretended to embody her Akarmi name by acting soft and gentle in front of Sree Maa, Shri Ji and the entire group but underneath that facade she was the total opposite.


Often times, Joy comes off as very bossy and I had noticed that one incident where she spoke brashly to a participant and she was offended and that person stopped attending the online meditations. I felt that Joy tends to get angry with the FITs who disagree with her and she would approach me to slander that person. Of course, the person who she often criticized and complaint about was the male devotee whenever he tried to set boundaries with her. She also disliked it whenever other people talked to him and she had complaint to me that people were trying to form personal relationships with the male devotee. Wasn’t she the one who was always possessive of the male devotee and getting him to chauffer her around and carrying her luggage whenever they travelled together for events? Besides that, she has always invited him to her home under the pretext of working on Kosmic Fusion projects or events and insisted that the male devotee slept in the same room as her during retreats and India pilgrimage. Who is the one forming personal relationships then when Sree Maa had clearly informed that we should be friends with everyone and not to form groups or personal relationships in the FIT programme?

So, how come she didn’t mention any of these things in her diatribes about the things she did? She completely left out how she was bullying me during our pilgrimage to India in 2017. Joy had asked me to help her with voice recording during the pilgrimage and I kindly obliged. On one occasion, Joy suddenly grabbed my wrist while I was holding the voice recorder and bossed me to do it properly in quite a threatening way. I was so stunned by her rough behavior and tried to pull my hand back but she was grasping me so tightly that it hurt. How hard can voice recording be that she had to correct me? She had to correct and control me in every little thing I do from how I filled Sree Maa’s cup of water to how I should place my shoes outside Sree Maa’s hotel room that I felt every move I made was a mistake. On a different occasion, we were behind the group of FITs and Joy bossed me to go up to the front to do voice recording and suddenly Joy shoved me and I almost lost my balance and could have fallen sideways and sprained my ankle. When I told Joy not to push me, I thought she would simply apologize but instead she looked at me blankly and said “It was not a push”. Does anyone smell a narcissist here I wonder? They can never be wrong and if you try they will just gaslight you and say it’s all in your head.

Joy was also the one who came up with the idea to buy expensive silk sarees while we were in India. She also had to hog all the scriptures to herself whenever we visited the temple’s bookstores that she ended up buying the most and didn’t care if other’s had a copy or not. Often, she would push her way to the front of the group or always sit next to Sree Maa to look important and not giving others the chance to spend time with Sree Maa. This is why Sree Maa had brought up that we all should look at the “Mr Bean consciousness” in us when Joy was behaving so selfishly. What’s more, Joy had to outdo all of us and even dedicated a whole room for Bhagwan Swaminarayan home Mandir(Temple) in her house. Only a narcissist would display such a competitive streak. So how can she now claim we are being brainwashed here or that Indian religion elements were forced onto anyone of us? The truth is Joy was pretending to be a great devotee but was just a wolf wearing a sheep’s cloak.


Note: This blog post is intended to share my experiences with people with narcissistic personality disorders so it may be helpful to others who are going through a similar experience because silence is NOT ok.

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